I almost wish I never had anything to say

But nothing is that easy and Im a person with a whole lot of opinions.
I never run out of things to talk about.

My intentions are usually good. I never go into anything wanting to hurt someone or make someone feel bad. Of course, that isnt true. In certain circumstances, I want to make certain people writhe and squirm. But I dont unless they fully deserve it.
This is off topic anyways.

Just to start off, this isnt meant to hurt anyones feelings or make anyone squirm. This is meant for me to vent and get shit off my chest. I keep too much stuff in and I need an outlet.
Ergo, a blog.
All of this is off subject, and I should probably get on with what I want to vent about.
Which just so happens to be my boyfriend.
And Im not saying hes a bad boyfriend, dont get me wrong. I love him with all of my heart, he means the world to me. But sometimes, certain things he does and says get to me and hit me where it hurts.
Ergo, my ranting.

TO START OFF WITH I should probably make it known that I am very very VERY against drinking. I hate it. It makes me sick to my stomach and it makes people look like trashy idiots. Thats my opinion, dont use it against me.

My boyfriend is very well aware of my thoughts and feelings on drinking. Very aware. Im pretty sure I bitch about it on a regular basis. And being that my current state isnt necessarily stable (emotionally that is, I am a female gimme a break) you would think he would take me into consideration before making plans.

Wrong.
Very wrong.

He thinks that just because he called me to tell me he was drinking, thats taking me into consideration. He knows drinking upsets me, he knows it worries me, and he knows it stresses me out. And he knows Im not in the best position at this point, you would think that he would be like "Hey maybe I shouldnt do this"

Wrong again.

Instead, he proceeds to get drunk. Cool right? NO. DRINKING IS STUPID.

OH AND ALSO. you told me there were no girls there. And then you tell me that "The girl that was there told me to take off my shorts and give them to her and I told her to fuck off".
so there werent any girls there?

Yenno, maybe if I was there to watch him and make sure he was ok, I would be ok with it. But Im not there, Im an hour away. And he says "Im ok, I didnt do anything wrong"
YOU DIDNT DO ANYTHING WRONG?!
NOTHING?!
You cant think of anything YOU POSSIBLY DID WRONG?
Hmm let me think.
You got drunk, knowing very well you were going to 1)hurt me 2)make me worry 3)upset me and 4)turn me into more of a wreck than I already was. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND? Or am I still just "over reacting"?

And you have the nerve to tell me Im the one whos wrong?


Forgive me for being concerned about your health. Forgive me for being concerned about your well being, and forgive me for putting our relationship first. I dont do things all the time because I know you wont be comfortable with them. And its not that I dont trust you, thats not it all. I dont trust the people around you.
I know no one there was sober, and I know no one was watching you. And as much as you want to tell me your best friend was watching you, he was drunk. What the hell is he going to do? Nobody there was watching over you, nobody cared.

You were being selfish. You didnt think of me, you didnt put my emotions into anything. Your only concern was getting drunk with your "friends".

I honestly dont see the appeal or attraction in drinking. I really enjoy sobriety, but maybe Im the only one.


forgive me for being concerned, and forgive me for being hurt.
But in all honesty, I have every right to be hurt, and I have every right to be mad.